I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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