do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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