so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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