I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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