you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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