Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
