the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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