Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
