My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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