Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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