Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize