I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
