He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i think i just lost a toe
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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