I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize