My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
