do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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