you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
