cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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