Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
