I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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