How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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