That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
