Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
