Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am available for nakedness
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
