stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
