yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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