just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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