after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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