im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
