She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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