I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
