apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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