if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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