We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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