how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize