Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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