This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize