my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
