Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
