There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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