Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize