we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
