wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
