I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
