in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize