There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
