Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
