what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
