I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
