need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
