You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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