Sponge bath it is.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
