I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
