you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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