No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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