I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize