i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
