I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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