dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
