Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
