Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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