i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
