I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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