??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
