i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
