so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
