One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
