why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
