Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
