$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
