i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
