Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
