whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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